Do You Want To Change?

Do you Want To Change? Really?

I always ask my clients when they come to see me, “Do you want to change the issue you are here for?” There is a very specific reason for asking this question and I thought it may be interesting to explain just exactly why and why I named my company, Want to Change.

Change is something we often resist, deep down. We don’t normally embrace change and certainly are not happy if another person suggests, however gently, that one is necessary. So if you tell a smoker that he/she really should quit, that is normally the best way to ensure that they carry on, even if they were thinking about stopping. Our subconscious just resists those instructions and instead says, “Oh yeah? I’ll show you”.

It is no different with other issues either, none of these helpful comments are actually at all helpful. “You are putting on weight, maybe you should diet”, “Don’t show them fear, they are more afraid than you are”, “snap out of it, you are just sad”, “confidence is all in your head” or my personal favourite, “well I did it, why can’t you?”

So does this mean that change is impossible? Absolutely not. We see change in our lives all the time, but it is always preceded with a decision that it is now necessary. That decision is made from within and not by another. Advice and concern from close friends and family can lead us to this decision, but we are the ones who make it, and no one else.

These moments are memorable. All my weight clients can tell me the exact moment they chose to make that appointment. Tipping the scales at a number that was just too big, sticking in a chair, breaking something, having to request an extender belt when flying, the reasons are all different because we are all different, but they happen. It’s the same for smoking, shyness, phobias, confidence, every kind of issue.

So I ask, “Do you really want to change?” Without making this decision first, you will resist the suggestions I make and we will be heading for failure. Why? Because with every single change comes sacrifice. It may be something that others do not see as much of a sacrifice – for instance, the way a non-smoker would view a smoker’s cigarettes – but to you, it definitely is a sacrifice. One that you need to be prepared to make.

Of course, the good news is that once you have changed and your life is improved, you will no longer see that change as a sacrifice at all. It will have become the hugely positive step you chose to make to improve your life! Hindsight is a wonderful thing and the view is great from here.

So let’s not kid ourselves: right now there is something you may well want to change in your life. It may be an unwanted feeling or habit, it could be a reaction to something that happens for no reason. From where you are standing, it looks like you will have to give up a lot to make that go away. Yeah you will, but if you are willing to do so, and if you want the view to improve, then I can definitely help you, and once you have, it will be worth it. The good news is that the treatment itself is actually the easy part!

I look forward to asking you, “Do you Want to Change?”